Uh-oh. Why is she upset? I thought.

Thinking back to our last conversation, I identified what must be the problem. I turned it over and over in my mind. Actually, I had the entire conversation again in my head, and then proceeded to have the next conversation I felt was necessary. Before I knew it, I had reacted to a text without any consideration of anything beyond the words on my phone and worked myself into an anxious mess.

I stopped, took a breath, and called her instead. I relayed the last 30 minutes of mental gymnastics. She laughed. I laughed. Then she said she was running late, typed the message quickly, and didn’t mean anything I was fearing at all.

I had done one of my biggest pet peeves: I assumed I knew what someone else meant (the worst) instead of asking them.

It happens with texts, emails, and social media posts. Our minds rush to fill in the blanks of what we read, sometimes with accuracy, but often with a story shaped more by our own mood and assumptions than by the other person’s intent. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

We also do this when we read scripture. We take ancient words, hear them in our own tone, and fill in the gaps with our own assumptions. Without meaning to, we read our own time, culture, and frustrations into a message that was spoken in a very different world.

If we want to hear the tone of scripture, we have to step into the world it was first spoken into. Only then can we hear not just the words, but the heart and context, and let that heart shape the way we speak, read, and listen today.

My wish for you this week, Reader, is that you pause before filling in the blanks. Whether it’s a quick message from a friend or a verse from the Bible, give space for the real tone to emerge. Ask questions, seek understanding, and listen for the heart and the broader context behind the words. You might be surprised by how much lighter and more grace-filled your conversations and our faith can become when you do. That's the fiLLLed life.

Live a fiLLLed life, Melissa ​